If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
