Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
