I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
