The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
