We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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