careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
