Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
