you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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