Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Randomize
