Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize