I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
God, I missed his penis.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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