Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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