hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
