They have a pepper shaker for pot.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
