If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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