Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
