how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
