I think scott just propositioned me for sex
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
