he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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