Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
