you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Randomize
