i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday