ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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