I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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