Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
