The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
