Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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