Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
