It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
