Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
