I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
