white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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