Do you still have your period?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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