Texts From Last Night

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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(

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  (775): Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :( http://tfl.nu/vkw0
  Replies (3) Good night (836) Bad night (943)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Can Purell be used as lube?

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  (512): Can Purell be used as lube? http://tfl.nu/e9pj
  Replies (37) Good night (771) Bad night (4120)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??

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  (520): just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon?? http://tfl.nu/c1fp
  Replies (33) Good night (10844) Bad night (1205)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.

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  (501): I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus. http://tfl.nu/lpxj
  Replies (19) Good night (4577) Bad night (2028)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..

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  (708): He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam.. http://tfl.nu/opqs
  Replies (30) Good night (3478) Bad night (2320)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.

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  (603): i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes. http://tfl.nu/r21u
  Replies (2) Good night (1776) Bad night (1027)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?

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  (920): Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job? http://tfl.nu/emh8
  Replies (10) Good night (2792) Bad night (1119)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.

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  (412): He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with. http://tfl.nu/33qn
  Replies (8) Good night (3253) Bad night (1215)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"

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  (501): And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool" http://tfl.nu/agbu
  Replies (4) Good night (2274) Bad night (667)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.

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  (920): I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs. http://tfl.nu/adoe
  Replies (7) Good night (2391) Bad night (782)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.

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  (443): He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us. http://tfl.nu/2gzn
  Replies (7) Good night (1145) Bad night (1071)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.

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  (905): And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced. http://tfl.nu/b7p5
  Replies (12) Good night (3124) Bad night (757)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on

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  (315): I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on http://tfl.nu/7hrd
  Replies (3) Good night (720) Bad night (453)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.

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  (505): Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird. http://tfl.nu/uf9c
  Replies (2) Good night (474) Bad night (741)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life

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  (618): If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life http://tfl.nu/dpod
  Replies (6) Good night (663) Bad night (866)

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