You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.