Texts From Last Night

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  (210): View more from Texas

  I've decided to bang my pen-pal.

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  (210): I've decided to bang my pen-pal. http://tfl.nu/dcyn
  Replies (35) Good night (3828) Bad night (555)
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  (415): View more from California

  well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart

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  (415): well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart http://tfl.nu/6v8e
  Replies (17) Good night (7703) Bad night (598)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???

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  (702): did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant??? http://tfl.nu/mp1l
  Replies (53) Good night (8172) Bad night (2359)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"

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  (360): Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?" http://tfl.nu/c0v9
  Replies (13) Good night (8966) Bad night (1051)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.

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  (905): They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend. http://tfl.nu/j59u
  Replies (4) Good night (1982) Bad night (3015)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.

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  (713): Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is. http://tfl.nu/q4lm
  Replies (4) Good night (4642) Bad night (892)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week

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  (732): hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week http://tfl.nu/ig19
  Replies (9) Good night (3044) Bad night (895)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny

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  (513): I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny http://tfl.nu/yacg
  Replies (8) Good night (1219) Bad night (579)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.

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  (518): Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes. http://tfl.nu/4mei
  Replies (10) Good night (1576) Bad night (509)
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  (714): View more from California

  I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night 

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  (714): I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night  http://tfl.nu/0owm
  Replies (1) Good night (496) Bad night (639)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays

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  (314): Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays http://tfl.nu/dq5p
  Replies (3) Good night (540) Bad night (351)
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  (646): View more from New York

  He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...

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  (646): He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand... http://tfl.nu/h56p
  Replies (8) Good night (243) Bad night (686)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too

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  (763): It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too http://tfl.nu/uw41
  Replies (1) Good night (831) Bad night (222)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems

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  (303): I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems http://tfl.nu/a77h
  Replies (0) Good night (539) Bad night (246)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  We need a shit load of segways right now

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  (570): We need a shit load of segways right now http://tfl.nu/bi1o
  Replies (1) Good night (466) Bad night (246)

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