how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
