Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher

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  (303): Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher http://tfl.nu/qru2
  Replies (3) Good night (1083) Bad night (1274)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"

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  (720): There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!" http://tfl.nu/c7ck
  Replies (64) Good night (10110) Bad night (804)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.

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  (540): I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse. http://tfl.nu/5mjb
  Replies (8) Good night (4619) Bad night (976)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?

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  (513): He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like? http://tfl.nu/ctij
  Replies (17) Good night (4652) Bad night (1046)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"

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  (719): He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that" http://tfl.nu/ec8j
  Replies (11) Good night (7978) Bad night (1787)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?

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  (972): Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday? http://tfl.nu/8ic0
  Replies (3) Good night (2087) Bad night (808)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.

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  (727): I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy. http://tfl.nu/oiln
  Replies (8) Good night (3100) Bad night (676)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag

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  (905): today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag http://tfl.nu/a7zv
  Replies (5) Good night (1576) Bad night (687)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.

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  (419): She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared. http://tfl.nu/zba1
  Replies (9) Good night (2659) Bad night (646)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?

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  (602): You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me? http://tfl.nu/mi92
  Replies (9) Good night (730) Bad night (4444)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard

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  (610): I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard http://tfl.nu/mt5d
  Replies (3) Good night (1242) Bad night (322)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it

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  (631): She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it http://tfl.nu/e6sn
  Replies (11) Good night (410) Bad night (1497)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??

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  (256): It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican?? http://tfl.nu/zvoh
  Replies (1) Good night (604) Bad night (232)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.

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  (701): Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy. http://tfl.nu/7jm2
  Replies (2) Good night (285) Bad night (763)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.

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  (602): Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over. http://tfl.nu/lmyw
  Replies (4) Good night (914) Bad night (205)

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