can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life