You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
