got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
