i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
