He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
