yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
