these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
