My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
