One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
