There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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