Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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