i barfeds in our rink
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I deserve to be covered in dicks
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
