My girlfriend figured out who you are.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
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Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
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And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
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