Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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