Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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