I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
