btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
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