This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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