how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
