This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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