I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
