i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
