I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
