I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
