I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize