I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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